Home is Where We Are

Deployment has ended and he has been safely returned to me. All the beautiful little things have started to fill my days and they are incredible. It has been a wonderful homecoming. Excellent food, good wine, phenomenal company. My heart has never smiled wider. We have enjoyed home cooked meals like never before; including flavorful potstickers and curry chicken. The pup is overwhelmed and ecstatic that his daddy is home and he has his most favorite playmate back. I am so happy to have my husband, and best friend home. As we always tell one another, "Home is where we are." Welcome Home.

Love and Deployment

Today feels just like any other day during deployment because every day I miss my soldier. All this talk of flowers, candy, and chocolate is ridiculous... all I really want is a hug and kiss from my husband. To feel his warmth would be a delight. The thought of his homecoming is what sustains me. But I know that I am not alone; all over this country there are incredible men and women apart from their beloved because the mission comes first. Barely legible letters, midnight phone calls, bruised care packages - these are the ways we say "I love you". And, I truly believe that these magnificent moments make separation bearable. 


Each day I pray that my husband and all our soldiers return home safely; asking St. Michael to bless them and keep them from harm. I remind myself that love is patient and endures all things; love never fails. I believe love conquers deployment with ease.  


To my friends who are far from their loved ones, hold strong and remain steadfast. Your tears are welcome and embraced, so long as you wipe them from your cheeks and remind yourself of the many blessings in your life.


To my friends who have been reunited with their soldier but wait patiently for full recovery, the circumstances may not be ideal but be thankful you are with him and he will be well soon enough. Your fears are understood, your anxiety understated, your strength inspiring. 


To my friends who are able to touch, smell, and taste their lover - do it! Your happiness is beautiful and should be celebrated. 


Happy Valentine's Day, friends.


"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflates, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Uncelebrations

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Happy 5th mesiversary to me and my husband! That's right, friends, today marks five months of wedded bliss. Well, not quite bliss but at least it is a milestone. I'm sure I would be much more cheerful if my husband was actually present for the occasion - it does, after all, align rather closely with St. Valentine's Day. But, I know that moping over the circumstances of deployment would be fruitless. Instead, I would much rather lavish in the happy thoughts of his safe return from down range. He will be home this year, ya know. Very exciting stuff! As always, the mission comes first.

Also, it is our puppy's 9 month birthday! A most momentous occasion, indeed. It is a pity that he is afflicted with yet another bout of puppy poops on this somewhat special day, but I'm sure he will rise above - he always does. Enjoy this lovely snap shot of my little guy:

I know it seems a bit queer to celebrate these seemingly ordinary occasions; however, I must comment that it is these singularly bland milestones that make my life so stinking wonderful. No really, each day is a gift and should be celebrated in one way or another - even if it means digging deep and remembering hard to conjure up a special, beautiful and terribly ordinary reason to celebrate.

So, happy tenth day of the second month of the beginning of the second decade of the second millennium!

0200

In the middle of the night, out of a deep sleep, I roll over, open my eyes and see the little green light blinking on my phone. Without hesitation or a doubt in my mind I somehow just know that it is my husband on Google Talk. I never remember hearing the notification; I always remember the conversation when I wake up the following morning. It is a wonderful feeling. I can only equate it to a dream and he words feel close, real. I often fall back asleep and dream with him. I write "with him" rather than "of him" because he is with me; it's ok if you don't understand. Sometimes I don't either, but that is the beauty of it. And the most beautiful moments are sometimes at 0200.

Merry Christmas, friends

This year's holiday season is bittersweet. While I am ecstatic to see my friends and family, I am reminded that my husband is far from home. This is our first Christmas as a married couple, and we are apart. My Christmas day, however, was wonderful! The magical morning started with instant messages from Matt, followed by presents with family, Christmas Day Mass, dinner at Aberdeen Barn, Harry Potter 7.1, and at the end of evening he called from down range. The true magic of the season was present in my family's home... and then it began to snow. As you know, I think snow is beautiful. What a wonderful Christmas. I can't wait to do it all again when he comes home. 

Merry Christmas, friends! Special thanks to all those dedicated to service and are therefore separated from their loved ones this holiday season. God bless.

Surviving Deployment: A Beginner's First Attempts

I am not an expert on the subject of deployment; however, I am an expert when it comes to loving my husband. This is the only reason that I will survive this deployment. Not because I am smart or strong or confident (although those things will certainly help), but because I love my husband - that is why I will survive this deployment. It seems ridiculous but I believe it to be my source of strength these past few days. I have no experience with this - absolutely none. I am in a new place with only my dog as my constant companion. I am also madly in love with my husband. He told me that my tears break his heart, and to think that I will be sad in his absence is awful. So, I made him a promise: I will not feel sorry for myself; I will smile often and laugh out loud; I will continue to love him with all that I am. This is my mission while he is away. I will find strength in myself. I will enrich my life with wonderful and beautiful moments. I will smile often and remember that I am truly blessed. And, when all else fails I will remind myself that weaker people have overcome greater obstacles. This is my mission.

Operation Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving was a blast!

We had a full house. My husband's family and my mom and sister joined us at our new home for the holiday. I would be lying if I said the experience was void of stress and was full of only happy, gleeful moments but rest assured that we enjoyed our first holiday as husband and wife. Our townhouse neatly accommodated all our guests for each meal and much enjoyed family time. Our puppy was sick for the duration but was in bright spirits nonetheless - I didn't raise him to be a party pooper. I needed all hands on deck for this one. After all, this was my first attempt at cooking all things Thanksgiving. True story.

I am proud to report that the food was edible and my husband actually noted that my sausage dressing was "delicious". The turkey was moist and flavorful; the mashed potatoes were loaded; the green bean casserole was classic. And completely on purpose, but absolutely by luck, all the food was ready at the same time. No joke. I couldn't have planned it better if I had tried. Even my family-in-law was impressed. It was a good meal. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed each other's company - and isn't that what it is really all about?

Our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife was a success. Everyone survived. Leftovers were scrumptious. Our house is still standing. My husband, my puppy, and myself - we are all happy. Mission Accomplished.

My brain feels squishy

This week has been filled with an assortment of events. My brain is having the hardest time just focusing on one, so let's suffice it to say that much has happened this week. It really seems like it has flown by, and we are rapidly approaching Matt's deployment date. It just doesn't seem real. My brain feels squishy.

I meet folks that offer advice and support; offering me reading material, websites to visit, people to call. But what I really need is a friend. Moving to a new place is pretty easy, aside from that one bump in the road. Don't get me wrong I have friends all over the place that I love dearly - it's just weird not seeing them face to face or talking on a regular basis. For now I have the constant presence of my husband, a warm, loving man and that is incredible. I soar when he hugs me. I float when he holds me in bed. I laugh out loud over our dinner conversation. I am going to miss him so terribly. My solution for deployment: read all that is offered to me, reach out to people when I am weak, and never stop writing letters to my soldier.

I have the highest of hopes that, although my brain feels squishy, this will be an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to love harder than ever before.

If you give Shannon a hammer...

Setting up your new home can be a fun, challenging, comical experience. I believe that I have discovered the one instance that will meet all of these criteria at once. "Where do you think this picture should go?", I ask sweetly with a slight hint of pleading. This is really just my way of saying, "I can't handle the bland walls anymore! I can't hang these pictures by myself and I need your help. Your opinion is relative and I simply need an extra set of hands. Please and thank you." If it was up to me, then we would have knocked out all the picture hanging in a day or so, but for the sake of my husband's sanity I have chosen the inchworm path and hang only one or two every few days. I will now detail the picture hanging experience...

Step 1: Ensure the situation is appropriate. If a game, ESPN, or video game is lighting up the television screen then you need to consider cost-benefit analysis before proceeding. If you have just finished a meal, got back from a few short errands, or you are asked, "Sweetie, is there anything I can help you with?" then leap at the opportunity! Do not stop and look, just go go go! You wouldn't want to lose a precious opportunity such as this.

Step 2: Choose one or two pieces to hang. You may wish to enlist the help of your spouse for this task. Choice is a powerful determinant in an individual's likelihood for cooperation and quite possibly enjoyment.

Step 3: Collect the necessary tools. I have found that the following tools are often required: hammer, nails, tape measure, level, pencil, scissors and 550 parachute cord. The last two items are optional and can be considered situationally dependent.

Step 4: Find the right spot. This shouldn't take long, but be prepared to compromise.

Step 5: Ensure the spot is centered. Using the tape measure, ensure that the spot you have chosen is centered and does not conflict with any other important items (outlets, phone hookups, ledges, etc).

Step 6: Measure the space again and secure nails to the proper location. This is the trickiest part of picture hanging because it involves multiple sets of hands and mutual cooperation. If hanging multiple pictures or one of those complicated numbers with the multiple hanging rings, then use the tape measure, level, and pencil you need to make sure that the pencil marks are level. Once you are certain that the pencil marks are adequately placed, use the hammer to place the nail. Watch your fingers.

Step 7: Hang the picture. Now all you have left is to place the picture, wire, rings, or 550 cord onto the nail. Once placed, use the level to ensure that the picture is hanging straight.

Step 8: High five. This step is probably the most important because it indicates completion of the task, mutual success, and demonstrates appreciation for a job well done.

So, friends, it is important to remember that if you give Shannon a hammer then expect at least 8 steps to follow.

Risk it All

Every now and again I pose the infamous and always fun-filled question, "Would you like to play a game?" and every time, without fail, my husband responds, "Risk!" His voice cracks as he squeals the name of his ever favorite board game and he again tells me of the countless times he has started to play but has yet to ever finish a game. I usually roll my eyes, sigh, and suggest a more mutually acceptable option, like Life or Scrabble. His momentary loss of reason passes and we enjoy each other's company during friendly competition. Last night was no different - I was able to talk him into a friendly game of Battleship and I believed my task was complete. However, after a short-lived yet riveting war game I found myself under the gaze of a loving, sweet, and desperate husband.

Last evening I finally succumbed to the pleas of  the desperate man and played Risk: The Game of Global Domination. The game began with a thorough reading of the rules (a 16 page endeavor) that still left us bewildered and in the dark. A roll of the dice, the cards divided and the armies placed. Thus began the quest for global domination and the spread of Matt's power. At one point it seemed that I might actually gain control of a single continent, but alas my armies in Ukraine were defeated by the ever pressing forces from the East and my men never recovered. Countries fell at each roll of the dice; the brightness of my yellow army faded and the board was slowly stained blood red as Matt's artillery made its way West across the world. It all ended in a futile battle over the Canadian provinces. The world map stained red and the kitchen table scattered with popcorn, chocolate chip cookies, and cocoa. True love, friends, true love.