Merry Christmas, friends

This year's holiday season is bittersweet. While I am ecstatic to see my friends and family, I am reminded that my husband is far from home. This is our first Christmas as a married couple, and we are apart. My Christmas day, however, was wonderful! The magical morning started with instant messages from Matt, followed by presents with family, Christmas Day Mass, dinner at Aberdeen Barn, Harry Potter 7.1, and at the end of evening he called from down range. The true magic of the season was present in my family's home... and then it began to snow. As you know, I think snow is beautiful. What a wonderful Christmas. I can't wait to do it all again when he comes home. 

Merry Christmas, friends! Special thanks to all those dedicated to service and are therefore separated from their loved ones this holiday season. God bless.

The Last Thirty Seconds

Each time an unusual phone number appears on my caller ID I become anxious and overjoyed at the thought that it could be my husband. I mute my surroundings immediately - it makes no matter to me if it is technological, animal, or human - any and all noise ceases. I take a deep breath and answer with a simple "Hello". My heart soars when I hear his familiar, loving, and tired voice make its way across the world and to my ear. For the next however many minutes I am the luckiest girl alive, nothing can bring me down from my happy place, and I feel so overwhelmingly at peace to know he is safe and happy. The conversation is flooded with laughter and questions and constant reminders of "I love you" - as if we could have forgotten. We talk about anything and everything we can during the brief moments we have together. The topics range but are never heavy; talk of home is nostalgic and hopeful as we talk of homecoming plans and upcoming milestones. There is almost always mention of the puppy and how big he has become, along with less popular talk of puppy poops and chew toy crises. It doesn't really matter what we talk about, it only matters that we talk, that we get to share those moments.

But, no matter what the conversation, the last thirty seconds are always the hardest part. This is the part of the conversation filled with sadness smothered by upbeat talk of "I'll talk to you again soon". The moments of held back tears and blowing kisses through the phone. Time seems to slow and I reluctantly allow "Goodbye" to pass my lips; my heart beat becomes irregular, I feel myself become warm, and I swallow the tears I know will follow the phone call. That is the part of the conversation I dread most. I feel myself physically change as the conversation draws to a close. Do I allow my emotions to leak through the phone? Of course not. He doesn't need to hear me cry, he knows I miss him terribly and that I cry in his absence. He needs me to be strong. He needs me to love him. He needs me to say "Goodbye, I love you" at the end of those damned thirty seconds. And I do.

Let it Snow!

I can count on one hand the number of winters I have seen snow in my lifetime. That, my friends, is going to change. Life in the North Country has proven itself worthy of thoughtful preparation and persistent Google-ing. I talk with everyone I meet about the best ways to drive in snow, park in snow, walk in snow - live in snow. I chose two specific priorities: 1.) train the puppy that it is OK to poop without grass and 2.) learn to shovel the entire driveway without a break in less than 30 minutes. I am proud to say that I have mastered these two tasks - not bad, if I may say so. Now, that doesn't make me a pro but it does make me feel more confident whilst surrounded by this foreign white, powdery stuff that seems to accumulate without ceasing. Around here, they told me that I wouldn't see green again until April... little did they know that the puppy loves to dig and he finds grass for me on a daily basis! So there, Old Man Winter!

But, if I may for a moment whisper you a secret: snow is beautiful. As I shoveled the walk and driveway last night, I couldn't help but stand in awe of the wondrous landscape created before my eyes with each falling flake.  I was tempted to throw myself onto the fresh powder and make snow angels (but thought better of it because the temperature was single digits). I brought the pup outside and he thrust his entire head into the snow and turned to me with, what must be, the greatest impression of Old Man Winter - his fluffy white beard made of fresh snow. I couldn't help but smile.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Sunday, Fun Day

Today started bright and early with daily happenings as usual. Wake up. Roll over. Stretch. Breakfast with the pup. Brisk walk around the block. Kennel. And then Church. After Mass I returned home, gathered the ingredients for chili, and got my dog ready for a puppy play date with my new friend and her lovely mutts. The afternoon, although cold and dreary outside, was full of warmth and sharing, friendship and laughter. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and so did the pup - trust me, he hasn't had the opportunity to run and play with other dogs for a few months... he was in heaven. This is even further proved by the long and peaceful slumber that followed our return home. My afternoon was chock full of good food, interesting tales, and even a home improvement experience - all the makings of a solid friendship. I am so glad to have made a friend and I look forward to many more Sunday, fun days. I hadn't a clue what was in store this afternoon, but because I have come to embrace this newfound and somewhat often occurrence of occasional uncertainty I am better for it.

Surviving Deployment: A Beginner's First Attempts

I am not an expert on the subject of deployment; however, I am an expert when it comes to loving my husband. This is the only reason that I will survive this deployment. Not because I am smart or strong or confident (although those things will certainly help), but because I love my husband - that is why I will survive this deployment. It seems ridiculous but I believe it to be my source of strength these past few days. I have no experience with this - absolutely none. I am in a new place with only my dog as my constant companion. I am also madly in love with my husband. He told me that my tears break his heart, and to think that I will be sad in his absence is awful. So, I made him a promise: I will not feel sorry for myself; I will smile often and laugh out loud; I will continue to love him with all that I am. This is my mission while he is away. I will find strength in myself. I will enrich my life with wonderful and beautiful moments. I will smile often and remember that I am truly blessed. And, when all else fails I will remind myself that weaker people have overcome greater obstacles. This is my mission.

Operation Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving was a blast!

We had a full house. My husband's family and my mom and sister joined us at our new home for the holiday. I would be lying if I said the experience was void of stress and was full of only happy, gleeful moments but rest assured that we enjoyed our first holiday as husband and wife. Our townhouse neatly accommodated all our guests for each meal and much enjoyed family time. Our puppy was sick for the duration but was in bright spirits nonetheless - I didn't raise him to be a party pooper. I needed all hands on deck for this one. After all, this was my first attempt at cooking all things Thanksgiving. True story.

I am proud to report that the food was edible and my husband actually noted that my sausage dressing was "delicious". The turkey was moist and flavorful; the mashed potatoes were loaded; the green bean casserole was classic. And completely on purpose, but absolutely by luck, all the food was ready at the same time. No joke. I couldn't have planned it better if I had tried. Even my family-in-law was impressed. It was a good meal. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed each other's company - and isn't that what it is really all about?

Our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife was a success. Everyone survived. Leftovers were scrumptious. Our house is still standing. My husband, my puppy, and myself - we are all happy. Mission Accomplished.

Army Wife Network

This past Friday I participated in a Spouse Field Exercise hosted by the Army Wife Network. No, we didn't do push-ups, ruck march, or complete an obstacle course (but that would have been pretty cool, too!). Instead we (that would be me and the 149 lovely ladies I spent the day with) descended upon the Commons at Fort Drum and enjoyed a day full of sage advice, funny stories, and great ideas for surviving a deployment. Oh, and did I mention that there was cake? It was a good day.

During the event there was much mention of finding a "battle buddy". I thought this idea was pretty unique - how many other people (outside the Armed Forces) do you know that use words like "battle buddy", "opsec", "debriefing", and "sitrep" in normal, everyday conversation? This group of ladies have been there and done that. It was wonderful to witness the camaraderie when these women from all different backgrounds, cultures, and generations came together, often with only one thing in common - love for an American soldier. That is all you need to be a part of this club, this community. 

I do want to make sure that I give kudos to the ladies in charge of the Army Wife Network: Star Henderson & Tara Crooks. These two are busy finding every possible resource for Army spouses and I can't thank them enough for their hard work! If you ever need information, ideas, or resources visit www.ArmyWifeNetwork.com. I already bookmarked the site and visit it often. I just hope that this can help others, too. 

Watch out world! This Army wife is digging in for the long haul! 

My brain feels squishy

This week has been filled with an assortment of events. My brain is having the hardest time just focusing on one, so let's suffice it to say that much has happened this week. It really seems like it has flown by, and we are rapidly approaching Matt's deployment date. It just doesn't seem real. My brain feels squishy.

I meet folks that offer advice and support; offering me reading material, websites to visit, people to call. But what I really need is a friend. Moving to a new place is pretty easy, aside from that one bump in the road. Don't get me wrong I have friends all over the place that I love dearly - it's just weird not seeing them face to face or talking on a regular basis. For now I have the constant presence of my husband, a warm, loving man and that is incredible. I soar when he hugs me. I float when he holds me in bed. I laugh out loud over our dinner conversation. I am going to miss him so terribly. My solution for deployment: read all that is offered to me, reach out to people when I am weak, and never stop writing letters to my soldier.

I have the highest of hopes that, although my brain feels squishy, this will be an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to love harder than ever before.

Another Day, Another Application

Unemployment is lame.

If you give Shannon a hammer...

Setting up your new home can be a fun, challenging, comical experience. I believe that I have discovered the one instance that will meet all of these criteria at once. "Where do you think this picture should go?", I ask sweetly with a slight hint of pleading. This is really just my way of saying, "I can't handle the bland walls anymore! I can't hang these pictures by myself and I need your help. Your opinion is relative and I simply need an extra set of hands. Please and thank you." If it was up to me, then we would have knocked out all the picture hanging in a day or so, but for the sake of my husband's sanity I have chosen the inchworm path and hang only one or two every few days. I will now detail the picture hanging experience...

Step 1: Ensure the situation is appropriate. If a game, ESPN, or video game is lighting up the television screen then you need to consider cost-benefit analysis before proceeding. If you have just finished a meal, got back from a few short errands, or you are asked, "Sweetie, is there anything I can help you with?" then leap at the opportunity! Do not stop and look, just go go go! You wouldn't want to lose a precious opportunity such as this.

Step 2: Choose one or two pieces to hang. You may wish to enlist the help of your spouse for this task. Choice is a powerful determinant in an individual's likelihood for cooperation and quite possibly enjoyment.

Step 3: Collect the necessary tools. I have found that the following tools are often required: hammer, nails, tape measure, level, pencil, scissors and 550 parachute cord. The last two items are optional and can be considered situationally dependent.

Step 4: Find the right spot. This shouldn't take long, but be prepared to compromise.

Step 5: Ensure the spot is centered. Using the tape measure, ensure that the spot you have chosen is centered and does not conflict with any other important items (outlets, phone hookups, ledges, etc).

Step 6: Measure the space again and secure nails to the proper location. This is the trickiest part of picture hanging because it involves multiple sets of hands and mutual cooperation. If hanging multiple pictures or one of those complicated numbers with the multiple hanging rings, then use the tape measure, level, and pencil you need to make sure that the pencil marks are level. Once you are certain that the pencil marks are adequately placed, use the hammer to place the nail. Watch your fingers.

Step 7: Hang the picture. Now all you have left is to place the picture, wire, rings, or 550 cord onto the nail. Once placed, use the level to ensure that the picture is hanging straight.

Step 8: High five. This step is probably the most important because it indicates completion of the task, mutual success, and demonstrates appreciation for a job well done.

So, friends, it is important to remember that if you give Shannon a hammer then expect at least 8 steps to follow.

Risk it All

Every now and again I pose the infamous and always fun-filled question, "Would you like to play a game?" and every time, without fail, my husband responds, "Risk!" His voice cracks as he squeals the name of his ever favorite board game and he again tells me of the countless times he has started to play but has yet to ever finish a game. I usually roll my eyes, sigh, and suggest a more mutually acceptable option, like Life or Scrabble. His momentary loss of reason passes and we enjoy each other's company during friendly competition. Last night was no different - I was able to talk him into a friendly game of Battleship and I believed my task was complete. However, after a short-lived yet riveting war game I found myself under the gaze of a loving, sweet, and desperate husband.

Last evening I finally succumbed to the pleas of  the desperate man and played Risk: The Game of Global Domination. The game began with a thorough reading of the rules (a 16 page endeavor) that still left us bewildered and in the dark. A roll of the dice, the cards divided and the armies placed. Thus began the quest for global domination and the spread of Matt's power. At one point it seemed that I might actually gain control of a single continent, but alas my armies in Ukraine were defeated by the ever pressing forces from the East and my men never recovered. Countries fell at each roll of the dice; the brightness of my yellow army faded and the board was slowly stained blood red as Matt's artillery made its way West across the world. It all ended in a futile battle over the Canadian provinces. The world map stained red and the kitchen table scattered with popcorn, chocolate chip cookies, and cocoa. True love, friends, true love.

Day One: Blogs are Scary

"Do one thing every day that scares you" - Eleanor Roosevelt

Moving to a new place, trying to make friends, looking for work - these things are challenges, but blogs scare me. Zombies and blogs. Scary.

I follow the blogsters in my life; I chuckle, smile, laugh out loud, cry, pray, reflect, and sometimes even post a comment but I never thought I might be brave enough to blog myself. To blog is to reveal part of one's self, to surrender bits and pieces - and this, my friends, is a scary thing. Maybe even scarier than zombies - just sayin'.

Of all things I am inspired today by a refrigerator magnet. I feel that I must throw caution to the wind and "Enjoy this life" (Thank you, April) because my life is worth enjoying and the times I face in the near and unknown future may require me to bleed in digital ink and celebrate in html.

So, here I am worldwideweb... take me or leave me, this is my one scary thing.